MAKING IT AS A NEWBEE IN THE WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHY BUSINESS

I love watching the Dog Whisperer! Cesar Milan is so awesome… If I were into older guys, I think he would be top on my list! I have one dog in addition to my cats. His name is Charlie, and he is a Chocolate Labrador/Chesapeake Bay Retriever mix who was literally rescued out of the doggie gas chamber in Los Banos, California over 10 years ago by a very nice lady from ARF (Animal Rescue of Fresno). He lives with my mom and dad, and their pack of three other dogs. Charlie is the best dog I have ever met. He so sweet, and just loves everyone! But with Charlie, he knows I’m the boss. He senses my energy and he gives me strength. It’s like Cesar says, “calm assertive energy,” and I have it with Charlie. Well, it’s easy with Charlie because he’s known me for so long, and he GETS me. Now, how am I going to transfer this desperately needed confidence to my Photography?

I’ve never been an outgoing person. My closest friends I’ve had since I was a very awkward freshman in high school could attest to this as well. Of course, they were awkward back then too! He he… Lisa, Jenn, Johanna, I love you guys!

I’ve still got some serious shortcomings. I am my harshest critic, to a point that as soon as I’m done shooting a wedding, I think that I have totally failed! I remember moments that I didn’t capture, wasn’t quick enough, or wasn’t in the right place at the right time. Then I absolutely nitpick through all the photos until I have found all the awful ones. I’m always surprised that after I delete them, I still have at least a couple hundred really good ones. I would like to add a disclaimer that I do NOT think that I am a great photographer. Mom would disagree, but I am my HARSHEST critic. I think a great photo is not necessarily ‘technically’ perfect (although I strive for it to be), but is a photo that makes me feel something. At a wedding two weeks ago, the bride was starting to cry as she walked down the isle, and I captured that and it made me cry when I was editing the photos later on! I KNOW what she was feeling at that moment, and it just reaches in and squeezes your heart until you can’t take it any more and the tension comes out as a tear on your cheek. Now, that’s a great picture in my opinion…

I am NERVOUS before EVERY shoot. I get nervous like a 6th grader before their first oral presentation in front of the whole class! I got really nervous before those too. So much so that I would forget to say everything that I had written down and severely truncate everything so I could sit down as soon as I could, like 30 seconds, which of course felt like an hour… As soon as I stood up I would get this horrible knot in my stomach, and start doubting my competence on whatever subject I was talking about, even if I knew everything I could about it! I feel this same way when I show up to a shoot with a new client. This may not inspire the greatest confidence in my abilities, but I’m really just being honest. Sometimes I feel like if I don’t get this off my chest, I will just… EXPLODE!

I wonder if I will ever gain the “calm assertive energy” that I need to succeed in this seemingly harsh world of the wedding photography business. I’ve had this energy two times in my life that I can remember, but it’s been so long. This is exactly the reason that I AM going to make this business work for me! It’s time for me to succeed and I am sick and tired of failing! Wish me luck, because I’m going to need it!